Women’s Wisdom: Safe Dating – Not Just for Teens Anymore
As adult women, we come to trust the fact that experience matters in many aspects of our lives. We date, maybe get married and then get divorced, and we think we know what we’re doing when it comes to first dates and new relationships. But really?
We may no longer meet men at frat parties and nightclubs, but in this age of internet dating and online relationships, ALL women, regardless of their age, need a new set of rules to keep themselves safe.
Whether you’re an experienced dater or a woman getting back into the game, we’ve got the tips you need to make dating safe:
1) Know your date
- If possible, Google it before the date and verify as much information as you can. The Internet is a wonderful tool, but people can easily misrepresent themselves. If he’s worth dating, he’s worth Googling for.
- Try taking a picture of her license plate: One of our date goddesses meets her date outside the front door of the bar or cafe, uses her phone to take her license plate and send it to a girlfriend’s phone.
2) Have an escape plan
- Send a text to a friend and tell them where you’ll be and what time you’ll be home approximately; Arrange for an emergency code word, but also let your friend know if you stay later than planned.
- Bring a few friends to the bar with you so they can sit quietly to the side and only be there if you need support should you feel concerned about your date’s behavior.
- Meeting in a public (and crowded) place is always safer; It gives you the most security, the most opportunities to leave, and is more likely to avoid an awkward situation if things don’t go well. Don’t rely on him for your transportation early in a relationship.
3) Limit the amount of information you give
- Download an anonymous texting app or use things like Google Voice or Vonage to block phone calls.
- Initiate all contact; make him give his number, always call or text him, not the other way around.
- Use a nickname and avoid using emails that can connect with you. Make sure your email address and phone don’t publish your full full name – block that feature on your mobile and use a secondary email where you can sign up with your nickname.
- Beware: if he’s tech savvy, he can find you via your IP address! Be careful!
4) Trust your instincts and watch the signs.
- Watch for sudden, intense passion or aggressive sexual behavior that seems unresponsive to anything you’ve said or done.
- Watch for “180°” personality changes, from kind and loving to accusing and suspicious of your every move.
- Watch for aggressive actions or language, controlling behavior, threats, unfair accusations, or impulsiveness.
- Be aware of repetitive or late-night phone calls, cars driving, or any unannounced arrivals at your workplace or home.
A new relationship or even a casual date can be exhilarating and exciting, but it’s important to remember not to get caught up in the moment. No matter how highly a man is recommended by a friend or how often he has chatted online, meeting face-to-face always means a certain level of vulnerability on your part. It’s not paranoid or suspicious to play it safe and make sure you have the best and most exciting dating experience possible. With that being said, there are thousands of great loving men who are just looking and waiting to meet a great woman.
