What can go right?
Many societies today educate their youth to plan ahead and prepare for any problems or obstacles that come their way. As a result, many people spend much of their hours immersed in a future not yet created, devising ways to respond to threats that do not exist. All those hours consume a lot of energy and resources and result in plans that are rarely implemented, since reality has a strange habit of turning into something unexpected.
As children, our parents do everything they can teach us to plan and prepare for the future. They try to convince us that not doing so will inevitably result in great chaos and will say necessity. Not planning what is to come is considered sheer thoughtlessness. Then we go to school and our educational systems focus again on the same principles. When we get out of school, most of us are constantly worried and, as a result, terribly stressed.
However, how useful is this approach? How many real situations have we been able to handle better by spending countless hours planning and ideating? Not so many, let me say.
We plan, yes, but then something completely unexpected happens and our carefully programmed solution becomes useless. We worry and try to anticipate all the possible complications in a given situation, only to discover later that things have taken care of themselves or taken an unexpected turn that we had not contemplated. All those wasted hours!
Also, as we meditate and reflect, stress and frustration increase in us. We can never be sure that the line of thought we are following is correct because we are not yet in the future that consumes us so much, so it cannot be tested. Therefore, we look for more possibilities, just in case. That constant search feeds on our energy and depletes us, leaving us exhausted. Thinking too much can be just as bad as not thinking enough.
Today I would like to propose a different approach. What about setting aside a fixed amount of time to worry and conspire? By spending a LIMITED amount of time trying to find a solution to the problem or planning whatever is necessary, we are usually able to fully focus on the problem at hand. We know we won’t have all day, so we usually spend those minutes more intelligently actually doing what needs to be done. Once the time is up, we have to stop worrying. Why? Because worrying longer does not necessarily result in finding better solutions. If a solution was not found in the allotted time, a better one is rarely found by simply stretching out that time period forever.
The idea is then to put the issue out of our minds and then spend the same amount of time thinking about what can really go well. Why? There are many reasons. We’ll see…
- We feel more motivated, hopeful, and happy, which causes our brain to release feel-good chemicals like endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine.
- We tune out stress-causing thoughts, which prevents our brain from releasing an excess of worrying chemicals like adrenaline or cortisol.
- Sometimes we find unexpected solutions to the problem at hand because we open our minds to new possibilities and relax and give ourselves a chance to breathe.
- We end up creating a constructive habit that makes planning and worrying processes more pleasant and hopeful, like getting to the “what can go right?” The phase is just around the corner.
- The process may even spark a few smiles in you and who doesn’t like to smile?
If the problem persists or more planning is needed, we can start over by establishing some more “what can go wrong?” time followed by a bit more of “what can go right?” time after. Toggling and using both gives you the best of both worlds.
The next time you find yourself worrying too much or spending too much time planning for your future, give yourself a break and start thinking about what can really go right. You will be surprised by the results.
Enjoy life… EVERYTHING,
