Top tips for resilience
I was asked to contribute to the workplace mental health discussion as we all kick off 2021. “What are your top tips for mental wellness in 2021?”
Were you desperately waiting for 2020 to end, somehow thinking that if you made it to the end, the new year would magically turn things around? The stress of constantly changing work (remote, in the office, back to remote, schools open, schools closed, visiting family, bubbles, not visiting family, traveling, not traveling, etc.) would miraculously cease with the calendar change.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when we woke up on January 1 to find that there were still restrictions on movement, the virus was still around, and we were just as worried as the day before. New Year’s resolutions seem even more pointless than usual, unless it’s to try to lose “lockdown weight.”
Studies done by the World Health Organization (WHO), Deloitte, PWC and many more by 2020 highlighted the importance of mental health and wellbeing in the workplace. This was already a topic in the media, visibility in the UK with the “Virgin Media Mental Health Marathon” in London 2017, supported by the charitable work of the Royal Family, promoting mental health charities such as MIND, Samaritans, CALM and many more. . The topic of mental health has been raised and supported by charities, celebrities and social media for some years now. Then came the unexpected, a global pandemic that changed everything and even those of us lucky enough not to have had any mental health issues in the past have been exposed to immense stress.
I speak from my experience as an IT professional, there are many other occupations that have been affected, but I’ll stick with what I know. For most of us of working age, in ‘good IT jobs’ in the UK, this is our first experience of such a global crisis – we have experienced epidemics in the past, AIDS, SARS, Foot and Mouth Disease, but none that has had such a global influence and caused such a universal upheaval. We in the UK have not been affected by conflict and war (although many around the world have); We have experienced a few economic crises, but none on a scale so large that they affect all aspects of our lives. We have been safe, society has been protected, we are in the thriving ‘first world’ economy. I’m not saying there aren’t struggles, but looking back with clear 20/20 hindsight, we have to acknowledge that overall we’ve been lucky, maybe even privileged. Those of us who have had good careers, a good education, and an overall comfortable lifestyle (which means we’ve had access to clean water, housing, and food), have been shielded from some of the world’s horrors.
Then comes 2020 and coronavirus covid-19.
We have had to deal with the changes and pressures of a volatile situation, which affects everyone in terms of work, social interactions and complaints. Losing contact with loved ones, being physically distant from family and friends, creating different relationships with our coworkers. Some of us have enjoyed solitude (I’ve talked about introverts before), others have been frustrated by a lack of contact and stimulation (our extroverts), but we’ve all had one thing in common: this has had an effect. Suddenly, the provision of IT became an even bigger focus and suddenly became the glue that held society’s communication together. We became front-line staff, not in the grand manner of health workers, but quietly in the background, managing the survival of businesses, education, families, and global communication. The pressure to succeed, to maintain the status quo, to increase provision to meet the new demands on our organizations has been intense. Adding to that work pressure, the new experiences of working remotely for some, or the need to continue mingling with others in the workplace, have created their own personal safety and wellness challenges. And it has been relentless.
Regardless of the industry you are in, you will have experienced your own similar challenges. Perhaps you have had to deal with not having a job, with no purpose, perhaps feeling that your role in life is shallow and worthless. Perhaps your frustration has been that the perception of your role as useless is incorrect and your valuable contribution to society has been ignored. Perhaps it has been more fundamental and it has been an extreme economic crisis, without work, without money or without salaries that do not cover your needs. Feelings of letting your family down, of being out of control and overwhelmed by the stress of money, family and work concerns. Perhaps you have been lucky, you have been able to continue working, safely, without being financially affected, but even so, you will have been affected by changes in society and the safety and health of you and your loved ones.
What is the impact of all this? We must ALL be aware of our mental and physical health. What can we do? Should we expect ‘they’ (you know, the ones in charge) to do something for us? Organizations offering ‘point solutions’ of Monday Mindfulness, Wednesday Yoga and some lovely apps can make you feel like you can’t control your mental health because these things don’t work for you. These are all tools we can use, but we need to have a holistic and comprehensive approach as part of our organizational culture. This is a topic for another day. Until that happens, which you can help to make happen, by the way, what can we as individuals do for ourselves?
We can develop resilience; we can work on our own mental health. This is a bit like that instruction we all used to hear when we were on a plane (remember those days?) – “please put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs”.
Your mental health oxygen mask is resilience. Learn techniques that allow you to experiment without feeling overwhelmed; respond by choice, not by reflex and habit; accept what you can and cannot control; adapt to change with confidence. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help and talk to people about your feelings. Tell your boss, share your experience with your colleagues, even if they can’t help you, they will be supportive just because they know you need some space. Seek help from professionals, counselors and your GP if needed.
To give you a start, here are my top tips for helping yourself, in an acronym: Resilience #TopTips for the individual in 2021 – love yourself
rest is essential
Commit to your feelings
Self care takes time
Individual response to stress, without comparisons with others, your trip is yours
Listen to your inner voice (not the one that tells you to go crazy with an axe)
Improve your knowledge of your needs
Experience your feelings fully, acknowledge them, even the toughest ones.
Necessary, you can’t do without this, don’t ignore your mental health
Change your behavior, your response, recognize that you can choose how to behave
Exercise the behavior until it becomes a habit (ha! You thought I was going for a run, right?), build it in, that’s resilience.
