The importance of reading fairy tales in a child’s life
The importance of fairy tales in the life of a child
Wisdom from The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim
As a child I spent many delightful hours reading fairy tales. Even today, many of the stories I devoured ring clear in my head, even though I haven’t read them in perhaps forty years. Stories of dancing princesses escaping into an underground world of music and dance, the discovery of a magic ring baked in a cake, the agony of a sister trying to free her brothers from a spell that has turned them into swans: these elements of fairy tales sank deep into my heart and imagination and continue with me today. Why is this?
While pondering this question, I had the opportunity to meet a woman who had run a Christian bookstore for years. She told me about the many parents who came to the store looking for appropriate reading material for her children. When offered fairy tales, they shied away in fear of dark and disturbing images that had the potential to frighten and traumatize their little ones. Your argument would go like this: “Fairy tales are scary and they present the world in a dishonest way. They would confuse my child about what is real and what is made up. They are full of ogres, witches and giants, so why should I allow my child to be terrified by things that aren’t even real?”
Because I write entire fairy tales based on Christianity, I decided to explore these questions and address these valid concerns of many parents. I thought of a book I had read when my first daughter was born: Bruno Bettelheim’s famous book, The Uses of Enchantment. I remember the impact that book had on me, and because of its logic, I chose to immerse my children in the world of fantasy and fairy tales throughout their childhood. Now that they are adults, I have asked them how these stories have shaped and affected their worldview and creativity. They have no doubt that their lives have been seriously enriched by this experience, and reading fairy tales has contributed to their healthy and confident attitudes about the challenges and terrors of this life.
Bruno Bettelheim was a child psychologist, famous for his research on autism. The aforementioned book written in 1976 earned him a National Book Award. I love what he writes in the introduction. “Wisdom does not spring fully developed like Athena from the head of Zeus; it is built up, step by step, from the most irrational beginnings. Only in adulthood can an intelligent understanding of the meaning of one’s existence in this world be gained. Unfortunately, too many parents want their children’s minds to function like their own, as if maturing understandings of ourselves and the world, and our ideas about the meaning of life, didn’t have to develop as slowly as our bodies and minds. Today, as in the past, the most important and also the most difficult task in raising a child is to help him find meaning in life.
Working in the field of autism presented Bettelheim with the challenge of restoring meaning to life for severely disturbed children. He found that most literature for young readers woefully lacked the ability to perform this task, but he also knew that literature held the best promise for transmitting cultural heritage, which he considered crucial. And this was what he considered necessary: ”To enrich [the child’s] life, should stimulate your imagination; help him develop his intellect and clarify his emotions; be in tune with your anxieties and aspirations; give full recognition to his difficulties, while at the same time relating to all aspects of his personality, and this without disparaging, but rather giving full credit to the seriousness of the child’s difficulties, while promoting confidence in himself and in his future.” He goes on to say how important it is that literature provides a moral education that subtly, and only through participation, “conveys to him the advantages of moral behavior.” His conclusion? child finds this kind of meaning through fairy tales.”
The German poet Schiller wrote: “The deeper meaning lies in the fairy tales I was told in my childhood than in the truth that life teaches me.” How can this be? Says Bettelheim, “These stories begin where the child really is in his psychological and emotional self. They talk about his severe internal pressures in a way that the child unconsciously understands and… offer examples of temporary and permanent solutions to pressing difficulties. “
Parents who long to protect their children from the bad and scary things in the world do well to remember that this is the world we are preparing them for. By hiding that world from your awareness, by trying to postpone or color the harsh realities of life, we are doing you a huge disservice. We have the Bible as the master example of openness and revealing and candid exposure of evil in its many forms. God did not censor murder, rape, betrayal, cruelty, incest, and even sexual passion from the pages of his word. Parents may argue that a young child doesn’t need to learn about these things, and it’s true: there is a time and season for all things, and some things are better to cover when a child may be more mature to understand and deal emotionally. some of these things.
Here’s what Bettelheim says: “In children or adults, the unconscious is a powerful determinant of behavior. When the unconscious is repressed and its contents denied entry into consciousness, eventually the person’s conscious mind will be partially overwhelmed.” by derivatives of these unconscious elements, or is forced to maintain such a rigid and compulsive control over them that his personality may be severely crippled… The prevailing belief of parents is that a child should be distracted from what he cares about most. : his formless and nameless anxieties, and his chaotic, angry and even violent fantasies Many parents believe that the child should only be presented with conscious reality or pleasurable and wish-fulfilling images, that only the positive side of things. mind only one-sidedly, and real life is not entirely sunny.”
Instead of protecting children from the evils of life, we can equip them with the necessary tools to face them with confidence. Bettelheim says that a struggle against the serious difficulties of life is inevitable, it is an intrinsic part of the human experience. If one does not shy away, “but stands firm against unexpected and often unjust difficulties, one overcomes all obstacles and emerges victorious in the end.”
The elements of fairy tales
The fairy tale, according to Bettelheim, confronts the child directly with life’s most terrifying issues: death, aging, loss of a parent, being trapped or lost, and other stresses. The fairy tale simplifies all situations, allowing the child to face the problem in its most essential form. Figures are clearly drawn and details, unless very important, are removed. All the characters are typical rather than unique. Evil is as common as any virtue and both are usually embodied in the form of a figure or its actions. Evil is not without attractions, “symbolized by the powerful dragon or giant, the power of the witch, the cunning queen in ‘Snow White’. “In many fairy tales, the usurper is successful for a time, as with Cinderella’s sisters and stepmother, but in the end, the wrongdoer is punished and the moral is that crime doesn’t pay. Because the child follows the hero throughout his journey, he can identify with the hero in all his struggles, suffering and triumphing with him. Bettelheim says that the child “makes such identifications for himself, and the hero’s internal and external struggles impart morality to him.”
The most important element in fairy tales, to me, is the moral choice presented to the hero. The child learns that choices have consequences and can choose what kind of person he wants to be. Only by “going out into the world” does the hero learn and acquire happiness. The fairy tale is future-oriented and guides the child so that instead of escaping into a world of unreality, he is given tools to help him develop character and courage to face whatever the world throws at him. Often the hero is lost, alone, scared. These are feelings with which a child identifies. However, his hero is guided and helped along the way due to his determination and courage. In this way, fairy tales work their own kind of magic, since reading them makes the child feel understood and enriched, giving him what Bettelheim says is “an enchanted quality just because he doesn’t quite know how the stories have worked.” your wonder.” in the.
“Fairy tales, unlike any form of literature, lead the child to discover his identity and vocation, and also suggest what experiences are needed to further develop his character. Fairy tales hint that a good and rewarding life is close at hand despite adversity, but only if one does not shy away from the dangerous struggles without which one can never achieve true identity.” This is a basic principle of the Bible as well: that those who want to please God and gain favor with him need to endure hardship; May these trials produce perseverance, character, and hope, and may hope not disappoint (Romans 5:3-5).
Therefore, do not dismiss fairy tales as a bad influence on your children. Rather, be selective and choose age-appropriate stories to give them. But don’t be afraid to unleash their imaginations and let them face their darkest fears. By giving them heroes to identify with, you are allowing those fears to subtly surface and allowing your child to find courage and make moral decisions vicariously, decisions that will build his character and influence the rest of his life.
I look at my daughters, now adults, and see how that world of imagination and fantasy helped them face evil and struggles, gave them confidence and courage, and stimulated their imaginations that spilled over into their art, writing, poetry, and music. We cannot hide our children from the evils of the world, and even explaining everything in a simple way from God’s Word does not allay the deep fears and worries that a child has. Only by bringing them to the surface in a safe and imaginative way can we as parents help them mature into responsible adults. I think of that word, responsible, able to respond, because that is our goal: to help our children to be able to respond competently to any situation that life throws at them, and fairy tales will help them do just that.
