Is your phone sabotaging you?
Based on recent statistics, you are likely reading this on a mobile device. Thanks, and let me tell you why you would rather not.
You’ve probably heard all about the incredible amount of time we spend on our phones and how this kills human interaction. Sure, it was much better once, when you looked strangers in the eye and shook hands to show that your sword was staying at home. Frankly speaking, criticizing the impact of technology on interpersonal communication is too easy. Instead, let’s focus on something else: the impact that using your phone could have on your personality.
Now that I have your attention, here is what you can lose from excessive phone use:
1. Your balls
In her insightful book “Presence,” Amy Cuddy takes an in-depth look at how body posture can affect assertiveness and confidence. Among the many studies he does, one focuses on posture while using a mobile device. For most of us, checking our phones means automatically stooping and looking down (hence the term for this posture: iHunch). While the occasional hunch may seem harmless, research shows that spending time in a “powerless” posture leads to increased cortisol and decreased testosterone production. Because these two hormones play a vital role in our assertive behavior and perception of stress, the hunch may make you feel less adventurous over time and hinder your reactions to new and challenging situations. The good news is that you can reverse this effect! An obvious solution is to stop checking your phone so much, but if that’s a stretch, make sure you have the most upright and expansive posture possible while using your device. For more tips on using body posture to boost confidence, I recommend reading Amy Cuddy’s book.
2. Your romantic mystery
Before I started to consciously limit my smartphone use, I used to instinctively grab my phone in any situation where I had to wait, where I had to be alone, or when I was so nervous that I didn’t know what to do with my hands. . The idea that we are using our phones to avoid uncomfortable feelings is not new. It is part of human nature to seek an escape from discomfort or threat. Leaving the phone will not change that. However, as an admirer of all things poetic, I must inform you that as you sneak to your phone, you are missing out on learning the following beautiful skills.
3. Waiting
One of the saddest things phones have done to us is creating the expectation that something must happen all the time. A moment of silence feels like a moment wasted. A slow day feels unproductive. But the good things in life take time, and knowing how to expect them is one of the most underrated beauties in life. The moment before something happens, before your lover arrives, before the alarm goes off, before the rain starts, is when life happens. Losing this ability to sit still and wait will make you, frankly, tragically uninteresting. Prevent this from happening by not picking up your phone the next time you’re waiting for someone to show up; instead, look around you. Look at the sky. Aspire. Exhale. Take a walk around the block and come back. The beauty of the moment is fragile – open that app and it will disappear.
4. Losing yourself
Ten years ago, before you owned a smartphone, you owned a paper map. A proud one. Finding myself in the beautiful city of Vilnius at the time, I was planning my daily route in the mornings only to end up getting lost at lunchtime. There was no Google Maps to turn to, there were people. And indeed, this is how I came to know the stories of the places I was looking for, rather than just their locations. It’s not that the internet doesn’t offer this knowledge, but the way you remember a story you’ve been told is not the way you remember reading a Wikipedia article.
Constant dependence on Google Maps eliminates chance from life. Consider all the side streets you’ve never seen and the gems they might hide. Frankly, unless you live in a super dangerous place (in which case, don’t take my advice), you’ll be fine without a map. Grab some comfortable walking shoes, a camera (optional), and leave your phone at home. Take the longest and most winding route to where you want to go. If you need directions, ask someone or find a bus stop; there are always maps of the area there. Now get lost!
Do you know of other beautiful life skills that are threatened by modern technology? Let us know and let’s find out how to protect them!
