7 Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship Pattern
Our choice of partners is a phased process. First is the awareness of the appearance and/or attractive personality of others; discovery of similarities; then a state of emotional excitement; and finally, the revelation of deeper psychological needs.
Recognizing the SEVEN aspects of a pattern of toxic relationships can help you see what is happening in your life and move out of the ongoing frustration, pain, and sadness faster.
1. Repeatability
You have been involved in more than one relationship that initially offered the conditions of hope but did not live up to their fulfillment. People may be different, but beginnings and endings are the same over and over again.
2. A conflict
No matter how good the feelings were initially, deep down, you knew and felt that there was something in the relationship that was making you uncomfortable or making you feel anxious, insecure, worried, jealous, anxious, etc.
3. It has a bodily sensation
You experience an uncomfortable but familiar biological response that is triggered by something the other person said or did. For example, the anxiety level of her jumping ten points, a sudden knot in the stomach or pain in the forehead.
4. A feeling of deep loss
When a relationship ends, you are left with a sense of loss of something (or rather the hope of something). You experience a void where you once felt a ‘real’ connection, no matter how fraught with uncertainty, shame, humiliation, pain or suffering the relationship may have been.
5. Obsess
You have thought about it or you really believe that the rejection response of the other is due to your own words or actions that push him away, but you still have the idea that you can somehow transform the other person into the loving person who accepts that you are so desperately. and searching obsessively.
6. An underlying vulnerability
Your sense of your own worth is threatened; and you feel bad in the sense that as much as you have functioned as a resource to others and done well when you maximized the use of good coping and conflict resolution skills, you feel overwhelmed and very vulnerable.
7. Disowned parts of oneself
Beneath the surface, there are deep roots from which your omen patterns have grown. These traces are like the fuel that intensifies the negative bonding pattern.
Understanding your deepest psychological needs takes some of the mystery out of the force that draws you into the arms of one person, while pulling you away from another who might seem equally desirable to any unbiased observer. It really is possible to break out of a pattern of toxic relationships and start enjoying healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationships for the long term.
