The script cheaters use before acting on cheating thoughts
If you are following the script to cheat… What should you expect from your husband?
Before leaving relationships for new ones with other women, most men follow patterns that seem almost identical. In fact, according to relationship authors Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer, almost all men have an intrinsic pattern that they follow before, during, and after cheating. The “Script,” as they refer to it, is a list of things men say and do when they’re cheating or having long-term sex.
Earlier we discussed in the Script Overture section, men establish “stable ground” to step on with their infidelity before they cheat. During this time, the man will begin to create discord in your relationship in a number of different ways. He may tell you that he needs to seek help because he is insecure, jealous, or unstable. He will strongly suggest that he go back to school, pick up a hobby, or change. He will also tell you that he never thought and he would never think of cheating on you with another woman.
Now let’s move on to Act I, which Landers and Mainzer refer to as “Before He Goes Away.” During this part of her relationship, her husband will begin to manifest her unhappiness, verbally or in action.
The realization of unhappiness
It is thought that, at this stage, the man feels dissatisfied for one reason or another. Perhaps he feels that he is not appreciated at home or that he is not recognized for what he does. It’s not uncommon for men who cheat to feel unappreciated and ignored, leading them to seek attention and emotional and physical satisfaction elsewhere.
In the early stages of the affair, your husband’s attitude may subtly change and he may begin to feel sorry for himself and wonder, “What about me?” What was once a casual interaction with ladies of the opposite sex becomes attractive and stays on their minds, especially when the woman is not only attractive, but makes him feel genuinely good about himself. As he continually encounters these interactions with women, he begins to subconsciously seek them out in an effort to feel better about himself.
Previous separation in preparation for an affair
As your husband begins to seek the pleasurable feeling he is having outside of his “everyday life” at home, there is a noticeable divide in their intimacy. You can recognize that he is pulling away from you, even when you are open and attractive.
Don’t expect it to be obvious in the way he walks away from you. A man who follows the script will go back to the separation tactics he used in the Overture and unearth discord in small ways. He will argue and criticize, creating situations where you will be defensive and otherwise hostile. Many women report that their men will pick something they do well and criticize it; this is a successful means of making a man’s wife question herself or the quality of what she does.
Even if your husband or boyfriend did not act in this way, but behaved in other ways that disrupted your relationship, he still achieved his goal. Ultimately, her desire is to force you to behave in a way that justifies her spending more time away from home and, ultimately, in the arms of another woman. Have you ever dealt with a cheater who, in hindsight, you realized would cause problems in the relationship only for him to tell you how argumentative and obnoxious you were?
Now many, many other actions can indicate your husband’s intentions to have an affair.
