Signs of stress and anxiety in children
Stress is a phenomenon that is different or somewhat the same for every child or adult. To some degree, we are conditioned to believe that stress is bad and that there is a solution in a product: Calgon bath salts or a pill. Of course, we must attend to the issues that make us feel apprehensive or scared before or after an experience. However, it is better to talk about the experience before or after to understand the needs of the child or adult.
More importantly, I recommend avoiding assuming that all stress is bad or that stress will continue. Yes, something can be challenging, but stress is not inherent.
Parents who are cautious can inadvertently instill their own fear into a child’s psyche. It is also important to avoid projecting your own fear onto the child’s experience. Avoid using the words stress or anxious (anxiety). Ask the child how she feels without putting a label on her. And help the child solve problems before and after a new experience.
Children may not show stress in the same way that adults do. For example, they may show anger or irritability in addition to fear and worry.
Parents are understandably concerned about their children’s experiences, but it’s important to know that some childhood stress is common, and with patience, compassion, and communication it can be resolved quickly. Some children take longer to process their feelings. If a child seems to be struggling for more than a few months, they may need to see a professional who specializes in holistic mental health protocols.
Let’s talk about common childhood concerns
There are a number of things that commonly cause concern and discomfort for children of different ages. New situations, challenging tasks, and even unfamiliar people can occasionally make children apprehensive and uncomfortable.
Other age-appropriate fears include:
- ~ Fear of strangers that begins between 7 and 9 months of age and resolves by around three years.
- ~Fear of the dark, monsters, insects and animals in preschoolers
- ~Fear of heights or storms in younger school-age children
- ~Worry about school and friends in older school-age children and adolescents
These common childhood fears usually go away on their own as the child gets older.
Signs and symptoms of malaise in children
Although occasional discomfort is common, children with symptoms of discomfort may behave with:
- ~ Anger or aggression, such as yelling, yelling, hitting, tantrum
- ~Avoid certain situations
- ~wetting the bed
- ~ Changes in appetite
- ~tired
- ~Getting into trouble at school
- ~ headaches
- ~ irritability
- ~Muscle tension
- ~Nervous habits such as nail biting, hair pulling
- ~Nightmares
- ~ Refusing to go to school
- ~restlessness
- ~ Uncooperative
- ~ social retreat
- ~ Stomach aches
- ~ Trouble concentrating
- ~ Trouble sleeping
The frequency and appearance of stress can vary depending on the nature of the situation. Some fears can be triggered by specific situations, objects, or environments.
Other indicators of concern include symptoms that interfere with the child’s ability to learn, interact with peers, sleep at night, or function normally in daily life. What:
- Illness or death of a family member or friend
- birth of a brother
- Divorce
- community factors
- Being in a car accident, home fire, or other physical mishaps
Common childhood fears that persist beyond the age at which they are expected to be afraid (such as being afraid of the dark or being away from parents after preschool age) are also cause for concern.
And I’m going to close with a little story. When my son was 16 years old and in his third year of high school, he asked:
“Mom, why do children get scared when there is a test?
I do not know. All the world is different. What do you think about the tests?
Sound: I like tests.
Me: What do you like about them?
Sound: Because then I know what I know and what I don’t know. So I can learn what I don’t know.
Me: How did you decide that?
Sound: Mom!! (incredulous tone of voice) You said that there is nothing to worry about and that everything has a solution.
There’s evidence in the pudding. Preparing children in a non-concerning tone of voice or mindset is powerful and empowering.
Every moment is a teaching moment, use it well.
