How and why you need to initiate physical contact on a date
A key part of my game that was missing 4 years ago was the fact that I had no idea how important physical contact was. I remember sitting in a coffee shop, taking some notes on the latest things I’ve learned from continually talking to hundreds of women everywhere. Suddenly, something clicked. Imagine that you get along very well with a girl. The conversation is fluid, they look into each other’s eyes a lot. But you don’t take the time to make any kind of physical contact soon after you meet her. Instead, you wait until you escalate sexually. That will make her feel hesitant. She is still not used to having physical contact with you and you are already escalating sexually.
Realizing that made me adapt quickly. It became clear that establishing physical contact is really important. It doesn’t mean becoming the corny creepy guy. It means that you should not be afraid to ask for physical contact. Establishing this within the first few times you meet the girl is very important. Also, when you meet a girl for the first time, physical contact should be frequent, but brief (ie telling her a lively story and briefly touching her arm). As she develops a connection, the duration of physical contact should be longer (ie holding her hand). Here are some quick ways/tips I have used to get physical the first few times I went out with the girl.
Keep in mind that it is important that you feel comfortable when you see the girl. If you try anything posted below and you’re really nervous about it, and you do it halfway, it won’t help your game, it’ll hurt it. Have a confident and relaxed attitude, and physical climbing should be a piece of cake.
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-If you’re walking together with the girl, playfully push her hip to the side with yours. If she pushes yours back, use that moment to say something funny like, “haha, you’re quite a fighter aren’t you?” and put your arm around her.
-If you’re in a setting like a coffee shop and you’re telling an animated story (using hand gestures), you can lightly or playfully touch her on the side of her arm.
-Use this as a last resort. I’ll bring it up from time to time, but avoid having it as your favorite option. Tell him about the study that examined the character traits of many men and compared them to the length of their ring and index fingers. If the ring finger is longer than the index finger, there was a high exposure to testosterone in the womb. Ask to see his hand and, while it’s in yours, discuss whether or not he had high exposure to testosterone in utero. You can even change this to talk about her, talk about how aggressive she is, how she likes to lead, etc. Girls love to talk about themselves, you have a perfect opportunity to let her do it here.
-If you’re sitting across from her at a table and reaching out to touch her feels awkward, move your leg closer to hers under the table. Then, after touching her leg to yours several times, keep your leg in contact with hers. In the knee/calf area it is perfect. If she doesn’t move her leg away from her, that usually means 2 things: she’s comfortable in your company or she likes you.
NOT TO DO
-Don’t reach. What makes physical contact look weird is if you do it from far away. When you touch the girl while sitting close to her, it’s subtle and feels natural. When you try to touch her, it gives her logical brain time to start analyzing what you’re doing, and it looks awkward to anyone sitting next to you.
-Don’t look where you’re touching her. If you lightly touch his arm while you’re talking to him, maintain strong eye contact.
-If you’re telling her a story and using animated hand gestures, don’t be in physical contact with her for more than a few seconds MAX.
Now a disclaimer: use the above pointers as guidelines. There are just a few examples that I am using to illustrate how I initiate physical contact. Ideally, you should discover your own way of doing it. The key is that it feels comfortable and natural to you. Some unique situations require a different approach. The above is mainly aimed at those first times you see the girl and you are establishing a connection both emotionally and physically. Once you become more comfortable with each other (and a certain level of kissing/sexual escalation occurs), you can make physical contact when you feel the need.
