Has it just been abandoned? The 5 best ways to get back at your ex-girlfriend
So, they dumped you and you’re quite upset, obviously. Why else would you be sitting in front of a computer screen Googling something like “how can I get back at my ex girlfriend” instead of, you know, go out and get it? But you are not thinking clearly. Your brain is clouded with all kinds of mixed emotions. Anger, resentment, hostility, everything is there. Truth be told, you’re probably a little hurt too, even if you won’t admit it. It’s okay. I understand.
That you However, the thing to understand is that women are quite complex and a revenge trick that works on one woman may not work on, say, a thousand others.
Still, the general consensus is that living well, moving on with your life, and finding ways to be happy is really the only proven method of getting back at your ex-girlfriend. Your problem is that you clearly don’t know how to move on.
Fortunately for you, I do. I hope you are not easily offended.
1. For the sake of self-respect, stop calling her!
First of all, hang up the damn phone. He says he just wants to know if he still has his old college football jersey on; He has searched everywhere and cannot find it. But you and I know exactly where it is: rolled into a ball with the rest of your crisp clothes. However, since she slept on that tattered thing once about a hundred years ago, you think calling her on the pretext of trying to find her is perfectly credible.
But you know you’re lying, and guess what, she knows it too. And since she knows that you make excuses just to call her, she will also know that you are moving on when you stop.
2. Become a productive member of society (or at least take an active interest in your own life).
Now that you are single, you have a lot of free time on your hands. Instead of spending it camping out on your couch pacing back and forth between fights or catching up on all the video game time she left you with (two tremendous hobbies that probably helped get you dumped in the first place, exuberant), Why not spend it on doing something to improve yourself?
Fix your resume and start your search for a higher paying job. Enroll in evening classes and start working on your master’s degree. Jump into a charity (girls love sensitive guys, after all). Do something so that when you meet her again and she asks what you’ve been up to, you actually have an interesting and truthful answer.
3. Take a good look at your intestine.
Look, lazy bum: walking away in front of your computer and looking for ways to make your ex-girlfriend regret the day she broke up with you isn’t going to be enough.
What’s that? Do you take breaks? You sure do. But stalking her Facebook wall and repeatedly updating her page to see if her relationship status has changed from something as definitive as “Single” to something a little more inspiring like “It’s complicated” isn’t going to cut it either.
What you need to do is quickly disconnect your tail from your computer chair and hit the gym. Getting fit and looking your best will not only make you feel better, it will also help you attract new women.
4. Take a bounce shot (or two, or three …)
Yes, yes, yes, rebound relationships are doomed from the start. But you are not looking for a wife, you are looking to get revenge on the woman who broke your heart. Now that your abdomen is on the way to looking less like Pillsbury Doughboy and a little more like Brad Pitt in Fight club, are you ready to leave.
You can’t seem to meet anyone? Don’t you have some that you already have on your wings? Call one of your ex’s girlfriends. Almost every woman has a friend who doesn’t always uphold the “I quit, but it’s still off limits” code of conduct. You know it’s true You probably already know which friend that is. And, hey, if she doesn’t date you, she’s likely to sneak up on some candidates for you.
5. Pretend until you get it.
You’ve heard it before, and for good reason: it works.
You may not be in top shape yet, but you are working on it. You may not have decided on a new way to spend your free time, but you are reviewing your options. Maybe you haven’t been on the first date since she left you, but that girl on the laundry mat winked at you last week. I bet it would look cute in the shirt.
The point is, even if you’re not there yet, you’re on your way. Keep reminding yourself of that and not only will you stay focused, but you will also start to feel more confident. Confidence shows and people take notice, including an ex-girlfriend who might start to wonder why she left you in the first place.
