The ten worst Christmas songs
What was the first Christmas song you remember singing?
If you went to Sunday school as a child, you were probably “Absent in a Manger.”
You remember how it goes, right?
Far away in a manger without a cradle for his bed,
Little Lord Jesus laid His sweet head.
The stars in the bright sky looked down where He lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
I nominate this song, first sung in the late 19th century, as the BEST Christmas song ever written. Why? Because it tells the simple story of the birth of Jesus and refers to him as “Lord.” ¿Why is it so important? Because it is an appellation that belongs only to that little baby who grew up to live a perfect and sinless life, to die on a cross for the sins of humanity, to be buried in a grave, and then to rise from the dead three days later. Everything showed that “the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay” really was and is the Lord of all.
No wonder we sing that song with such reverence and wonder. It reminds us of the story of God’s love for you and me and how far He is willing to go to tell us how much He loves us.
But that is not the title of this article. The title says that you are going to read about the ten WORST Christmas songs ever written. So let’s get on with this, shall we?
Here’s my list of the 10 worst Christmas songs ever written
10 – “I saw mom kissing Santa Claus”. I think the Jackson 5 recorded this song if I remember correctly and it sounded pretty good. But let’s face it: nobody likes a snitch, which is why he’s in the Top 10.
9.- “Do you hear what I hear?” By Bing Crosby. Now I know many of you are going to ask, “So who is Bing Crosby?” but I don’t have time to explain it to you. I put this song on the list for a great reason: it’s boring.
8.- “The drummer boy”. What does “Pa rum pa pump um” mean? I’m just not sure and then there’s the fact that there wasn’t a “drummer boy” in the Christmas story so some guy just made it up and inserted it at the nativity.
7.- “All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth.” When Mariah Cary recorded this duet with Justin Bieber, she was inducted into the Top Ten Worst.
6.- “Love on Layaway”. I was at Walmart when this one came out and I thought what a great shopping song! Gross!
5.- “Jingle Bell Rock”. I can sing most of the song and it’s fun, but whenever I do I ask myself, “What is a jingle horse?”
4. – “All I want for Christmas is YOU!” This song sung by Mariah Carey is loud, loud and selfish. It doesn’t sound like Christmas to me.
3.- “Baby it’s cold outside.” This is not a Christmas song at all, it is only played during the season. It’s silly and scathing, and when I hear it sung by the two guys on the “Glee Cast” version, it’s creepy and before they’re done, I get nauseous.
2. – “Santa Baby” by Madonna. Come on, we all know that Madonna is a complete fraud as a singer. Eartha Kitt’s version was sweet and gentle, but we all know that Madonna can’t sing. And what about these words, “Santa Baby, just slide a saber under the tree for me?” Does Madonna want a skin for Christmas? I thought he was some kind of environmentalist?
And now the number one worst Christmas song ever written: drum roll, please: “Santa Claus is coming to town.”
“Wait a minute,” you yell at me, “That’s my favorite song of all! I have all the words memorized! Why?”Santa Claus is coming to town ‘ worst Christmas song ever written? “
Here are three reasons why this is the worst Christmas song ever written:
First, Parents use this song to be parents instead of being parents themselves.
What father has not repeated the lyrics of this song so that his children shut up or stop fighting or clean their room or do their homework?
Second, teaches kids that Christmas is about getting more done and it has nothing to do with giving. What do we think Santa Claus does most of the year and especially on those fast-moving days between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve? He’s making a list and he’s double-checking it! It makes it look like Santa is some kind of cosmic bully with a clipboard running around taking notes of every nasty thing kids think or do.
All kids know that if you want really good stuff, you better cheer up and be good because Santa has stuff! Everyone has seen Santa’s workshop and can name several of the elves he hires to make toys and sweets and all those fun things that are advertised on television.
Hell, I want to be on Santa’s list, right?
The third and most important reason this is the worst Christmas song ever written is because in the minds of young children, Santa Claus is one of the first substitutes for God.
Children innately know that the only person who “sees you when you sleep and knows when you are awake and knows when you’ve been wrong or right” is God and, at least for the month of December, Santa is an acceptable alternative. .
So does this song teach children that God is loving, kind, and forgiving or that He is grumpy and judgmental?
Many people have the idea that God wants to trap them, could that idea have taken root when they learned this silly song? The song positions Santa as a kind of clairvoyant giant Gotcha god who hides behind a curtain or lurks in the dark waiting to catch you doing something you shouldn’t do or thinking something you shouldn’t think or saying something you shouldn’t say.
This false idea of God is burned in the imagination of young children with the phrase: “He knows if you have been good or bad, so be good, for the love of God.” And every child on earth knows one thing for sure … that it is very difficult to “be good for the love of God.”
So in his most impressionable years, God becomes this critical, hypercritical ogre who is impossible to please and who is hell-bent on stifling every fun thing anyone wants to do. After all, what fun is it to always be a good boy or girl? All the kids want to use some of those nasty words Uncle Bill uses when he works on his car. And what kid doesn’t want to drink something that’s not theirs or try to do some of the things they see the greats do in movies or on television?
Children learn early that it is impossible to be good enough to please Santa Claus as long as you get everything on your Christmas list. Why? Because He knows everything, even those secret things that no other person on earth knows.
And that is a characteristic of God. It is called omniscience and it means infinite knowledge.
While omniscience is a true characteristic of God, it is not the key godly characteristic revealed in the Christmas story. Christmas doesn’t teach, “He knows when you’re sleeping and when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been good or bad, so be good, for crying out loud.” No, instead, it teaches God’s characteristic that “He knows when you are sleeping, He knows when you are awake, and He loves you not because you are good or bad, but because He created you for His own good.”
Christmas teaches us that in the midst of our goodness and our badness, God always loves us. And the Bible says that “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. He who fears is not perfected in love.”
Guilt and fear, the basis of “Santa Claus is coming to town,” makes us think that God may be angry with us. But he is not mad at us, he loves us. Because God loves us, we don’t have to be afraid of Him when things go wrong; rather, we can run to him with our fears and guilt and with our deepest pains and find in him the peace and joy that some of the best Christmas songs celebrate.
Do you remember what the angles told the shepherds on the day Jesus was born? They said, “Don’t be afraid!” Here’s why: Jesus came to rescue us, not scare us. That’s why we sing
I love you Lord Jesus, look from heaven,
And stay by my side until dawn.
Come closer to me Lord Jesus, I ask you to stay,
Close to me forever and love me I pray to you.
Bless all dear children under Your tender care,
And take us to heaven to live with you there!
Now that doesn’t sound like “you better be careful, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why.” It sounds more like “Because God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten son so that everyone who believes in him may not perish, but may have eternal life.”
