How am I supposed to move on with a husband I still love?
Sometimes, no matter how much you love your husband or your marriage, he makes it very clear that he doesn’t think you’re going to get either. Sometimes, no matter how much you personally fight for your marriage, your spouse or partner is not fighting alongside you. No matter how much we would like to change things, the fact is that it takes two people to stay in a marriage. Both people have to agree. So when your spouse or partner tells you it’s time to move on, you may feel like you have no choice but to comply. But the most important question may be: how do you do it? How can you completely change the way you think, your lifestyle, and your hopes for moving forward? It may seem that you are being asked to give up what you have worked so hard for.
Someone might say, “My husband and I have been apart for about seven months. I can’t say I’m surprised my husband is telling me it’s time to move on. He hasn’t given me much hope all the way.” This process. We have had very short periods of time where things seemed to be a little better, but this would not last long. As soon as he got a little closer to me, something would always happen that pushed him further. Last night, I asked him if we would ever get back together. He didn’t say outright no, but he did tell me that he thought it was time for me to think about moving on. He is living with his sister’s family. He helps her take care of her children after school in exchange for a place to live. He seems perfectly satisfied with this so far. I am not happy. I am very sad for myself. All this time, I have been looking at this as something that was temporary. I thought to myself that if I could get through this short period of time, then More days would be ahead once my husband came to his senses. But it seems that he will not come to himself. And I don’t know how to start living my life without him. I’m certainly not going to file for divorce and he hasn’t mentioned it either. But it seems that now my life is expected to change completely. How do I wake up tomorrow and do this? How do I wake up tomorrow and live a life that doesn’t include him? “
I don’t think you have to wake up tomorrow and completely change your lifestyle or your perspective. I faced a similar situation. I really wanted to reconcile in my own marriage, but my husband basically told me it was a lost cause. I put up with it for a long time, but began to realize that it was actually detrimental for me to put myself on hold and not live my life. Still, I wasn’t ready to give up my marriage, so I didn’t. But what I did was stop putting myself on hold. In my mind and in my heart, I still wanted to save my marriage one day. But, I was no longer going to allow myself to just wallow in my sadness.
So I started by telling myself that I wasn’t going to go straight home from work every day. I started hanging out with coworkers or hanging out with friends. I volunteered. Take classes. My goal was to keep as busy as possible doing constructive things, preferably things that would help other people, or at least myself. I had to force myself at first, but changing my focus and my isolated existence really helped my perspective over time.
I was in contact with my husband during this time, and although I never went out and said “I took his advice and move on,” it was probably obvious that I was no longer wasting my time waiting for him to call or call me. see me. I think that, at least for a time, he doubted my newfound independence or thought it was all a ruse. But after it lasted a decent amount of time, he realized that it was genuine and actually started to reach out to me.
I never pretended that I wasn’t interested in him or our marriage. He knew very well that he was. I never dated other people or pretended to want to. But I guess it became pretty obvious that I had given myself a new priority and keeping myself busy. I was by no means happier doing this than being married, but I was happier doing this than regretting the state of my marriage. It made time go by faster and made me more outgoing and optimistic. I think my husband definitely noticed this because he became less scared or reluctant to interact with me. Actually “moving on” really helped my marriage, although that was not my intention at the time.